Sunday, November 29, 2020
Let Us Give Thanks
Dear Lola, I was fortunate enough to spend a beautiful, quiet Thanksgiving with my family. Thanks to the pandemic, this was very different from our normal routine where we have 20 or so friends and relatives gathered around the table. Even though we are fine and healthy, I spent most of the day feeling sad. […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 4:42 pm
Friday, October 30, 2020
Home for the Holidays
Dear Lola, Every year, we travel close to a 1,000 miles round trip to visit family for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. And it’s great to see all the parents, cousins, and grandparents! We eat and talk and exchange gifts. We argue too, but I’ve always just chalked that up to being part of a big, […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 8:11 pm
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
Election Stress
Dear Lola, Stress about the upcoming election is really doing a number on my mental health. I feel it’s important to stay well informed, but watching and reading the news makes me feel overwhelmed and helpless. Social media makes me want to scream. Would it really be so wrong to just put my head in […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 12:44 am
Wednesday, September 16, 2020
When You Can’t Remember What You Did Wrong
Dear Lola, Like everybody else, I haven’t been able to socialize as I usually would with my friends. Last week, it occurred to me that I hadn’t had a one-on-one chat with a particular friend in what seemed like a long time. We would see each other during group happy hours over Zoom and were […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 6:21 pm
Tuesday, August 25, 2020
A Great, Awful Job
Dear Lola, I have a really, truly great job that I’ve really, truly grown to dislike. It took a lot of education and hard work to get my current position. For a long time, I was very proud and satisfied with that. It also helps that I get paid a fair amount of money. Fifteen […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 2:52 pm
Sunday, August 9, 2020
Better Off Alone
Dear Lola, Before the pandemic hit, I started dating someone, and we decided to quarantine together. Even though I still maintain my own residence, my partner and I (he is a man, and I’m a woman) are essentially living together. It’s safe to say that our relationship progressed more quickly than it would have under […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 2:37 pm
Thursday, July 23, 2020
No End in Sight
Dear Lola, I thought things were getting back to normal with the pandemic. Certain things had opened up in my state. In comparison to the misery of lock down, life felt better and easier. Now, come to find out, my kids won’t be returning to in-person school this fall. I think I might lose my […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 10:26 pm
Sunday, July 12, 2020
One Crud Ball is Enough
Dear Lola, I dated a man for over two years. Let’s call him Crud Ball. At the time, I had really high hopes that we would get married and have kids. CB was reluctant to commit though because he couldn’t be sure we would be happy in the long run. I tried very hard to […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 10:23 pm
Monday, June 29, 2020
Puppy Love
Dear Lola, My boyfriend and I don’t spend enough time together. We’ve both been pretty isolated and live in an area where the coronavirus is largely under control, so we feel comfortable being together. The pandemic isn’t the problem. It’s his standard poodle. He never comes to my apartment because his dog doesn’t like to […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 6:37 pm
Saturday, June 20, 2020
Wizarding World Weed
Dear Lola, Like lots of people, my girlfriend and I are bored AF. We’re watching a Harry Potter marathon. She thinks she is a Ravenclaw, but I’m sure I’m a Hufflepuff. Are we doomed? Also, we’ve been smoking lots of weed. Are we high? –Hufflepuff Pride Dear Hufflepuff, The fact that you are both […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 11:26 pm
Sunday, June 14, 2020
Feral Children
Dear Lola, I have a good friend, let’s call her Jane, who is lots of fun. Our kids all go to the same school, so we have that in common. The problem is that her children drive me insane because they’re so poorly behaved. For example, the one and only time we all went to […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 7:13 pm
Sunday, May 31, 2020
Afraid of Getting Fat
Dear Lola, I hardly ever leave the house, except to go to the grocery store. My only entertainment is ordering takeout and drinking wine with friends online. My eating is basically insane right now, and I’m gaining weight. I’ve never been fat in my whole life, but I can’t seem to stop myself from overeating. […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 8:39 pm
Thursday, May 21, 2020
Tired of Drive-Thru Birthday Parties for Kids
Dear Lola, With the coronavirus pandemic, we have seen the advent of drive-thru birthday parties for kids. I love the idea of making the birthday boy/girl feel special, but these events have left me feeling kind of flat. When invited to the party, I purchase a gift for the honoree, and round up the kids […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 9:05 pm
Friday, May 15, 2020
How To Act Like An Adult — Even During a Pandemic
Dear Lola, I’m 27 and had to move back home. This wasn’t by choice, but I lost my job because of the pandemic and couldn’t afford rent. Now I’m stuck in the house with my parents ALL DAY LONG. And they nag me constantly. My mother goes on a daily tirade about the messiness of […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 2:50 pm
Wednesday, May 6, 2020
When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Exist
Dear Lola, I met this great guy online, and things are really serious between us. We haven’t met IRL because he lives overseas. Given the current craziness in the world, who knows when that will happen now? In the meantime, I’ve been doing my best to be happy with texts and telephone calls. Things were […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 8:20 pm
Tuesday, April 28, 2020
Don’t Be Like Carol Baskin
Dear Lola, What advice do you have from living in a circus for those of us who are now home bound following “stay at home” orders and are frustrated by the too-close-for-comfort proximity of loved ones in the same house? Our adult sons are home for the foreseeable future, and it’s a juggling act of […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 7:21 pm
Saturday, April 18, 2020
Fat, Bored, and Lonely
Dear Lola, Like everyone else in the U.S., I’m stuck inside working from home. I’ve done the Zoom happy hours and WebEx meetings. Nobody expects this to really take the place of human contact, but it doesn’t even come close for me. I’m bored, bored, bored. And all I do is stuff my face with […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 3:58 pm
Monday, April 6, 2020
Swindling Your Own Mother
Dear Lola, About 10 years ago, my mother gave me a significant amount of cash from her retirement savings for a down payment on a house with the understanding that she would live with me when she retired. I was 25 when all that happened, and a lot has changed since then, not the least […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 6:19 pm
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
Depression After Weight Loss
Dear Lola, My weight has been an issue my entire life. Things got really bad after college when I hit 350 pounds. I felt tired and out of breath all the time and fell into a deep depression, which only made the problem worse. I had gastric bypass surgery about two years ago and reached […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 12:33 pm
Thursday, February 27, 2020
Dating at Work
Dear Lola, To be honest, I’m not sure a former sideshow fat lady is the best person to advise me, but I tried submitting my question to Carolyn Hax, and she didn’t publish it. There’s a guy at the office I’d like to date. We’re both at the same job level, so that’s not a […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 1:08 pm
Thursday, February 20, 2020
Let’s Talk About Something Else
Dear Lola, For as long as I can remember, my mother and I have been at war over my weight. When I was a kid, she used criticize what and how much I ate and then she would fill the house with snack cakes and cookies. She used to show me the boxes so she […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 3:07 pm
Monday, February 17, 2020
Is It Time
Dear Lola, I’m 31 and would like to get married and have children in the next few years. My boyfriend says he supports that goal, but I don’t see us moving closer to it. He is also on the fence about wanting children. He used to be dead set against it, but changed his mind […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 9:40 pm
Monday, January 13, 2020
Overcoming Loneliness
Dear Lola, How can a person feel less lonely? I’m almost 40, and I would like to be married and have children, but none of those things seem to be happening. People have told me I’m too picky. Except I’m not. I think my weight is a big part of the problem. I know I […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 5:37 am
Monday, January 6, 2020
What We Love is Beautiful
Dear Lola, When I first started dating my husband, he was in decent shape and a healthy guy. Since we got married five years ago, however, he has been gaining weight steadily and is now about 50 pounds heavier. We would like to start a family, but are having trouble conceiving, which I suspect has […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 2:58 pm
Friday, October 11, 2019
Unplanned Pregnancy
Dear Lola, I’ve been hooking up with this guy on a semi-regular basis for the last four months or so.About every few weeks or so, we run into each other at one of the bars where we hang out with other grad students, and then we end up going home together. We definitely have a […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 5:34 am
Friday, October 4, 2019
Plus-sized Dating
Dear Lola, A few months ago, one of my friend’s girlfriends, let’s call her Sally, asked if I would be interested in going on a blind date with someone she knew. Since Sally is very good looking and a general catch, I figured her friend would be too. And the blind date, let’s call her […]
Posted by Barbara Boehm Miller at 1:50 pm
