How To Act Like An Adult — Even During a Pandemic

Dear Lola,

I’m 27 and had to move back home. This wasn’t by choice, but I lost my job because of the pandemic and couldn’t afford rent. Now I’m stuck in the house with my parents ALL DAY LONG. And they nag me constantly. My mother goes on a daily tirade about the messiness of my bedroom, which is my private space. She complains that I eat food in the living room and says I watch too much TV and sit around too much, but there’s literally nothing for me to do.

How can we get through this without killing each other?

–No Place To Go

 

Dear No Place,

I disagree that there’s nothing for you to do. For starters, you could clean your room, sparing you and your mother a daily tirade. Then you could spend more time in your tidy “private space” and maybe free up some of the common living area for others to use.

I’m sorry that these bizarre times in which we’re living made you lose your job and, by extension, your independence as an adult. That’s a crushing blow, but  your behavior is only compounding the situation.

You are an adult, and that means you have to act like a grownup in all areas of your life, even if you return to your childhood home. Your parents are no longer responsible for providing you food and housing. You are now a guest in their home, the beneficiary of their generosity.

So, act accordingly. Keep your own space and the common areas of the house clean. Eat at the table. Help your parents with home projects. This would go a long way to easing tensions and building closeness. And I think it would help you feel better about yourself and your future as well.

All the best.

–Lola